A brutally honest memoir that completely rethinks what it means to be a man. 'Like Andre Agassi's Open , this is a transformative book; it is going to change our way of seeing' Malcolm Knox 'Brandon Jack is a force for good' Michelle Andrews and Zara McDonald, hosts of the Shameless podcast Continually told he was born with footballing blood , Brandon Jack has spent his life uncertain of the relationship he holds with the games he's played. Now a writer and musician, he sits in his apartment and reflects upon the years spent pursuing what felt like an inevitability - the footballing life. This is a unique and darkly poetic fly-on-the-wall account of a world that is usually shown in bright lights. Filled with relentlessly driven diary entries, vivid details of life at the fringe, and memories of binge-drinking into oblivion as an escape during his playing days at the Sydney Swans, 28 is a portrayal of the sporting psyche in a way that has never been done before. But the true beauty of this book lies in the space outside football. Laid bare on these pages is a searingly honest deep dive into sport, addiction, art, sexuality, masculinity, love, family and identity. 'Searingly honest, unflinching' Peter FitzSimons 'Brandon Jack has talent and daring in abundance' Christos Tsiolkas