Winner of 2020 W.Y. Boyd Literary Award for Excellence in Military Fiction Military Writers Society of America Award Winner: Gold Medal in Historical Fiction Winner of the 2021 William E. Colby Award Sometimes it takes years for a combat vet to understand what war did to him when he was nineteen. With the perception and reflection of a man on the cusp of retirement from a career teaching high school kids, Marty McClure recalls the relentless intensity of prolonged combat as a teenaged Marine machine gunner facing booby traps and battles in a war with few boundaries. Family and friends know Marty as a kind, peaceful man. They aren‘t aware that when he was young, he plumbed the depths of terror, hatred, and despair with no assurance he‘d ever surface again. Now he needs to reveal what happened in Vietnam and how, with the help of Patti, his wife, Corrie Corrigan, a disabled vet, and Doc Matheson, a corpsman turned trauma surgeon, he works to become a good husband, father, and teacher while he fights to bury the war. Only if he accepts help from his wife and his friends will he find real peace.