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Coles ADVENTURES OF MR CHORO BETWEEN OCTOBER 29: A Man Who Was Ready for Everything, Prepared for Nothing, and Confused About Both at Bayshore Shopping Centre in Ottawa, ON
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Everyone knows a Mr. Choro.
He is not a bad man. He is not a stupid man. He is simply
a man who has given himself the very important job of being
ready for disasters that have not yet been officially
scheduled.
When a vague WhatsApp message from a cousin of uncertain
name, location, and existence warns that "things will
happen," Mr. Choro does what any reasonable man would do.
He buys seventeen packets of biscuits. Nine litres of soda.
Two chickens — named Security and Backup. A giant whistle
"for emergency leadership purposes." Enough potatoes to
fill a government office. And a suspicious quantity of
mayonnaise that, to this day, nobody can explain.
He padlocks his refrigerator. He briefs his chickens on
the security situation. He holds nightly Cabinet meetings
with his potatoes. He locks himself in his own bathroom
for two hours on the most important day of the year and
officially records it as a "strategic success."
And when nothing happens at Christmas — despite three
weeks of frantic preparation — he finds himself sitting
alone in a kitchen that smells entirely of beans,
surrounded by twenty-five loaves of bread that have
achieved the structural integrity of building materials,
wondering where exactly the plan went wrong.
It went wrong, as it turns out, exactly where it always
does: between the rumour and the receipt.
The Adventures of Mr. Choro is a sharp, warm, side-
splitting comedy about panic, preparation, community, and
the deeply human need to feel in control of things that
are completely out of our hands.
It is also, on some level, about all of us.
Perfect for fans of comic fiction who enjoy stories rooted
in real life, real places, and the kind of laughter that
makes you say: "I know someone exactly like this."
Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter in public
places. Do not read near beverages. Author accepts no
responsibility for bread-based economies in the reader's
household.
Everyone knows a Mr. Choro.
He is not a bad man. He is not a stupid man. He is simply
a man who has given himself the very important job of being
ready for disasters that have not yet been officially
scheduled.
When a vague WhatsApp message from a cousin of uncertain
name, location, and existence warns that "things will
happen," Mr. Choro does what any reasonable man would do.
He buys seventeen packets of biscuits. Nine litres of soda.
Two chickens — named Security and Backup. A giant whistle
"for emergency leadership purposes." Enough potatoes to
fill a government office. And a suspicious quantity of
mayonnaise that, to this day, nobody can explain.
He padlocks his refrigerator. He briefs his chickens on
the security situation. He holds nightly Cabinet meetings
with his potatoes. He locks himself in his own bathroom
for two hours on the most important day of the year and
officially records it as a "strategic success."
And when nothing happens at Christmas — despite three
weeks of frantic preparation — he finds himself sitting
alone in a kitchen that smells entirely of beans,
surrounded by twenty-five loaves of bread that have
achieved the structural integrity of building materials,
wondering where exactly the plan went wrong.
It went wrong, as it turns out, exactly where it always
does: between the rumour and the receipt.
The Adventures of Mr. Choro is a sharp, warm, side-
splitting comedy about panic, preparation, community, and
the deeply human need to feel in control of things that
are completely out of our hands.
It is also, on some level, about all of us.
Perfect for fans of comic fiction who enjoy stories rooted
in real life, real places, and the kind of laughter that
makes you say: "I know someone exactly like this."
Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter in public
places. Do not read near beverages. Author accepts no
responsibility for bread-based economies in the reader's
household.
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