He has wanted me my whole life: he used an ocean to snatch me, he used a fire to suffocate me, he used a boss to crush my soul, he used a friend to kill me and yet here I stand, my life begging the question, am I cursed. I know what it is to be a coward like Peter, a murderer like Paul and a question mark like Nicodemus. What will it take for me to be His? I am a 52 year old African American disabled grandmother of 7 and a mother of 7 children from Burlington, new jersey but raised in dale City Virginia. I am an ex-Navy wife and graduate from Grand Canyon University. I am a chaplain with the international fellowship of Chaplains and A volunteer with the Billy graham evangelistic team chatline. I am a newly converted catholic who is a member of a fransican church as well as a member of a Potter House Church. I enjoy writing, painting, music, gardening and sewing. i was inspired to write this book through my father and my mother who fed me stories of our history throughout my life and encouraged me to share the tale when I was old and mature enough. My grandmother would remind me that no one can know your story unless you leave home and live it. I have lived it and then some.