What happens when the Chinese Imperial Court sends its most annoying scholars—along with a sarcastic cat, a gluttonous bat, and a perpetually hungry snake—to uncover the secrets of "barbarian" Europe?
When the Emperor of the Celestial Empire hears that Western barbarians possess gunpowder (and therefore, by imperial logic, must also possess the secret of immortality), he assembles a most unusual embassy:
Xu Lin — the only competent member of the delegation, officially the "Keeper of Scrolls," unofficially the sole person who can tell an enemy ambush from a herd of cows.
Professor Li — a brilliant herbalist who can diagnose a plant but has never successfully treated a human patient.
Professor Wen — an astronomer who can predict eclipses three years in advance but failed to foresee his wife leaving him for a fishmonger.
Bai the Cat — philosopher, skeptic, and the team's resident source of sarcasm.
Fu the Bat — spy, scout, and aficionado of fresh scroll-droppings.
Long the Snake — familiar, guard, and a creature with strong opinions about meal schedules.
Their mission: find the secret of immortality. Their reward: if they succeed, they can't return (lest they be executed for stealing it). If they fail, they can't return (lest they be executed for failing). Their options, as the Emperor graciously notes, are "plentiful."
What follows is a hilarious and philosophical journey through medieval Europe—from Constantinople's stinking streets to Venice's carnival madness, from alchemists' castles to inquisitors' dungeons. Along the way, our unlikely heroes discover that the greatest secrets aren't found in books, but in silence, laughter, and the strange family they've become.
A witty, irreverent tale of culture clash, accidental wisdom, and the realization that home is not where your culture is—but where your cat is.
Perfect for fans of The Journey to the West , The Name of the Rose , and anyone who's ever felt like a stranger in a strange land.
"Sarcasm, as is well known, is the best defense against reality. And reality promised to be... rich."
