You're not addicted to your phone. You just like to check it 400 times a day in case the meaning of life got posted to someone's story. Logged In, Checked Out is the gloriously jaded, painfully accurate survival guide for anyone who's ever deleted a social media app at 2 a.m. and reinstalled it by breakfast. With ten darkly funny, deeply human chapters, this book explores what it means to exist online without losing your mind—or worse, your personality. Through bite-sized essays soaked in sarcasm and sincerity, MONDAY tackles: The Like Trap and your tragically conditioned need for digital applause The curse of Main Character Energy Why influencers cry on camera (spoiler: it's marketing) How to set boundaries without becoming a smug screen-time zealot The infinite Scroll Hole and the attention economy hellscape And yes, the shameful cycle of Delete App, Reinstall, Hate Self This isn't a manifesto. It's a wake-up text from your emotionally tired friend who cares just enough to roast you into self-awareness. If you've ever felt like your brain has been held hostage by algorithms, your attention span is melting, and your sense of self-worth is being calculated by engagement metrics—this book gets it. And it's here to lovingly drag you back to something real. Perfect for: 📱Chronically online gremlins 😩 People who want to "log off" but never actually do 📖 Readers who like their self-help served with side-eye and emotional damage 🚫 Anyone who's ever muted a friend and called it spiritual growth Because sometimes the most radical thing you can do is shut up, log off, and remember who you were before the notifications started running your life.