I lost my co-ordination and began hallucinating at home. I saw animals in my living room clear as a bell, remembering specifically the vivid colours of a toucan and the prominent stripes of a zebra. Near my door was a perfectly rectangular image of a playing card, the ace of spades. Even though sport was a massive part of my existence, there was a lot more to life than lawn bowls. Without it, I may not have survived my mental breakdowns. Without mental illness, I would never have become as tough as I am in sport. As bizarre as it sounds, I am grateful for experiencing both. They made me who I am today.