Have you always felt like a misfit, like you never fit in? Was there was always something within you that made you different, made you unable to 'settle' into so-called 'normality', made you feel like you didn't really belong here? Have you always felt a longing, for something you can't really explain, but it feels something like somewhere calling you, a wanting to go home? A feeling that all is not as it appears, not as we're told and that there is something under the surface just waiting to be grasped, if you could just reach it, just break through? This experience is a journey, a challenging one for those who think and feel differently, perceive differently, are more open, aware and imaginative and I have always tried to explore it and express it through different themes and images. This is a short 'zine-type' book, the first part, a collection of feelings, ideas, torments, inspirations, from various times in my life as an outsider.