I answered the knock at the door to find a young fresh-faced chap in a pristine black suit. A slim laptop computer hung from his hand like a briefcase. He had 'Government' written all over him. In the background I saw the regulation unmarked van, stealth-black, straight from the fourth level laboratory of Amadeus Khan. "Inland Revenue," he said. "The Department sent me." Outwardly I kept calm, but inside I felt the old thrill, and with a deft move I grabbed my pitchfork from behind the door and nailed him to a veranda post with a swift and powerful jab. Don't worry; he didn't suffer much.