This is my testimony of a lifetime of trials and tribulations that have come before me. It is about depression, disease, despair, and death. It is also about love, faith, and triumph. Where there was depression and disease, there was healing. Where there was despair, there was hope, and where there was hope there was a future yet to come. In this book, I contemplate suicide more than once, and I will take you to some very dark places filled with turmoil and chaos but thanks to the infinite grace and mercy God gives us through our Lord Jesus Christ, they will be illuminated by His love, which never fails, and it was through His infinite grace and mercy that triumph was possible. You will find that death is only an illusion, but that through faith you can be released from the bondage of death forever. I'm Robert E. Gough, Jr, and was a professional pilot, spending a 31-year career in aviation flying corporate business jets in Chattanooga TN. I retired from aviation in May of 2008 due to medical problems and have enjoyed spending time with my family and grandchildren. I enjoy a variety of hobbies, the top two being writing and music. As of this writing, I am 73 years old and currently reside in Knoxville TN, and I'm an avid fan of University of Tennessee football. I have spent most of my life searching for nonexistent answers to irrevocable questions of life, and I hope you find some of the answers that I have found.