A humorously perverted story about Pristina Nasty, a single British woman, living on the small island of Cypocrite, otherwise known as 'Land of Hermaphrodites', or simply, Goatland. Life is boring, so she decides to track down and seduce Alexander Mills, (a very well endowed American bestselling author and soon-to-be-crowned King of Samoa), whom she accidentally stumbles across online, while searching for dick pics. A comedic look at what can happen when a bored, sexually repressed, single woman has too much time on her hands... Stories like this get written.