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Coles Till Heaven Do Us Part at Bayshore Shopping Centre in Ottawa, ON
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After living in Hell for a year, I might have to amend the saying "Hell is other people" to "Hell is other people's family ." Specifically, my dear demon husband's family, AKA my infernal in-laws. Even more specifically, Lucifer, my grandfather-in-law. In a revelation surprising exactly no one, Lucifer is a mean-spirited, nefarious, hateful mothertrucker, and for reasons beyond my control, I am bound to him with a vow of silence about a juicy secret he's been keeping—from Azazel, my beloved demonic spouse. Which puts me between a rock and a hard place, and I don't mean between the wall and Azazel's magnificently muscled torso. I'm notoriously bad at keeping secrets. Given the non-existent filter between my brain and my mouth, no one's more impressed than me that I haven't spilled the beans to Azazel yet. I can only credit the paralyzing fear of what Lucifer would do to me if I broke my vow. But I'm just barely keeping it together here. All it would take for me to crack is a crisis that short-circuits my brain and I'd probably sing like a canary. Thank goodness my life is boring AF and nothing ever happens here in Hell to throw me off kilter. Oh, wait . . . Contains mature themes.
After living in Hell for a year, I might have to amend the saying "Hell is other people" to "Hell is other people's family ." Specifically, my dear demon husband's family, AKA my infernal in-laws. Even more specifically, Lucifer, my grandfather-in-law. In a revelation surprising exactly no one, Lucifer is a mean-spirited, nefarious, hateful mothertrucker, and for reasons beyond my control, I am bound to him with a vow of silence about a juicy secret he's been keeping—from Azazel, my beloved demonic spouse. Which puts me between a rock and a hard place, and I don't mean between the wall and Azazel's magnificently muscled torso. I'm notoriously bad at keeping secrets. Given the non-existent filter between my brain and my mouth, no one's more impressed than me that I haven't spilled the beans to Azazel yet. I can only credit the paralyzing fear of what Lucifer would do to me if I broke my vow. But I'm just barely keeping it together here. All it would take for me to crack is a crisis that short-circuits my brain and I'd probably sing like a canary. Thank goodness my life is boring AF and nothing ever happens here in Hell to throw me off kilter. Oh, wait . . . Contains mature themes.
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