Grief has a way of fooling us into thinking we're alone. When Ellie Trechsel dies of a brain aneurysm at age 36, she discovers the afterlife is not the calm and comforting plane she always thought it would be. Instead, it's a painful rite of passage. Welcoming her in the afterlife is her mother-in-law, Mari, who offers herself as a trusted guide. But Ellie isn't ready to release her hold on life—even if she's only a spectator now. As she watches her daughter take pills to cope, her trans best friend seeking harbor in an abusive relationship, and her lifelong love sinking into a deep depression, all Ellie can see are her own mistakes. As she swirls through the past, present, and future of the lives of her family members, Ellie needs to let go of the control she once had, but in the process, discovers how little control she ever really had in the first place. From the multi-award winning author of As Though You Were Mine comes an emotional story of loss, grief, and compassion for fans of The Lovely Bones and What Dreams May Come.